


Transatlanticism

by kira892



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 4chords, AU, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 12:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira892/pseuds/kira892
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamzee wants something.  Or at least has something on his mind.</p><p>You know because he gets really fidgety and twitchy but doesn’t say a word, like he is at the moment. On any other night, you’d have asked him the second you noticed, if he has anything to say. Because that’s what a responsible boyfriend would do and, well, simply because you’re always ready to listen, you always want to know what he has to say. Not tonight though, tonight you have a paper due at 10 and even if you want to, you can’t tear your attention away from your laptop even for just one minute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transatlanticism

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [4chords](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/8208) by Emmi. 



> Ok, I was on a roll with this one, I just, really, really liked 4chords Gamzee and Tavros so. Also, I actually like how this turned out ^^
> 
> This is set after they get together and vaguely inspired by Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie.

Gamzee wants something. Or at least has something on his mind.

You know because he gets really fidgety and twitchy but doesn’t say a word, like he is at the moment. On any other night, you’d have asked him the second you noticed, if he has anything to say. Because that’s what a responsible boyfriend would do and, well, simply because you’re always ready to listen, you always want to know what he has to say. Not tonight though, tonight you have a paper due at 10 and even if you want to, you can’t tear your attention away from your laptop even for just one minute.

You feel bad for choosing work over him even though you know you shouldn’t but at the moment, he seems to be content to do nothing but jump from one melody to another as he strummed and plucked at his guitar. So you leave him be, dutifully ignoring the restless shuffling of his limbs against your sheets as he rearranges his position every 2 minutes. It blends with the sound of your fingers tapping away at your keyboard for about the next half hour, give or take a few minutes and you lose yourself so completely in it that you don’t even notice it’s stopped until Gamzee scares the living daylights out of you by suddenly having his mouth less than a centimeter from your neck and breathing out your name in an inquiring whisper.

“When are you gonna finish and get your chill on bro?”

 

You yelp in surprise and twist around to look up at him apologetically. “Well, its due in,” you glance down briefly at the time display on your laptop. It reads 9 PM. “an hour, so no matter what, finished or not, I’ll stop then.”

Gamzee blinks down at you and a corner of his mouth twitches infinitesimally, as if he wanted to say something but he doesn’t. Instead he brushes his fingers against your cheek. “I’m holding you to that.”

You smile reassuringly in response, one hand coming up to grasp at his long, calloused fingers.

There’s something really rewarding in the way his expression softens the second your skin touches his.

Gamzee leaves you alone long enough for you to finish but you’ve just opened up your email to hand your paper in when a large, rough hand gently settles over your eyes.

“Been almost an hour,” he murmurs and you immediately pry his hand away from your face.

“I know, I know, I’m about to send it in, give me 10 seconds.” You say.

“Diez, nueve, ocho, siete,”

Occasionally he speaks Spanish around you because he knows that your part Filipino and your limited knowledge of Tagalog included the bulk it took from Spanish (ok that was a lie, you know some words and the Spanish numerals) and you make an alarmed noise, smiling as you hurried to get your work sent.

“Okay, okay hold on,”

“Seis, cinco, quatro, tres, dos,”

Your barely manage to hit send before he reaches uno and all of a sudden you’re being yanked out of your chair and thrown over a broad shoulder. You flail and splutter as he hefts you up like you’re a tiny sack of undergrown potatoes and you feel his chuckle rumble through his chest. “Time’s up motherfucker. Chill time, you are motherfucking done for the night. That’s it, close up shop, it’s lights out time on Tavros street.”

You yelp when he simultaneously throws you and catches you so you’re upright in his arms and your arms and legs find their rightful place, securely wound around his neck and waist respectively. This puts your face just a few inches away from his and you feel a small, warm blush crawl across your cheeks as you spoke.

“Are you sure it isn’t uhh, stop being a neglectful butt and pay attention to your boyfriend time?”

Gamzee grins crookedly at you, pushing forward a bit so that you can see the cracks in his makeup. You like it better when he’s without it but you know, even if he hides it really well, that he’s more comfortable with it on than off, even when you’re the only one around.

“It can be that too.” He says, pausing for a second before lowering his eyelids and pushing forward the tiny bit of space between you and pressing his lips against yours. You sigh against his mouth and he answers it with a deep, rumbling one of his own. Feeling his chest against yours, heartbeat right next to your own makes your bones kind of feel like they’re melting and when he starts kissing you earnestly, you kiss back with double fervor.

It’s a blur, like it usually is. You don’t know how long it is until you’re pinned under him on your bed and you can’t pinpoint the exact moment when you lost your shirt or he lost his but you’re too lost in the feel of his mouth against your skin and your lips and fingers against his to care.

You almost forget that Gamzee was wanting to say something, almost, but afterwards, when you’re tangled together like a couple of shitty ear buds and his fingers start drumming a sporadic, restless rhythm against your bare arm, your head snaps up to look at him so fast, you almost deal him an uppercut with your head.

“Woah there, what’d I do?” Gamzee asks, surprised by the sudden movement.

You blush and try to keep your gaze focused on him as you spoke. “Nothing, I umm…just…you seemed like something was on your mind earlier. Uh, is there?”

Gamzee blinks twice, looking innocent and confused and for a moment, you’re convinced you were wrong. Then he light’s up, you can almost see the light bulb flick on above his head. It’s silly and you know you used the metaphor in the wrong context but you think it’s adorable anyway.

“Oh yeah! I was just thinking, an old amiga of mine is dropping by to get her hang on in the neighborhood soon. Another friend of mine is throwing a party for her. I was just wondering if you wanted to up and party with us. It’ll be fun, lots o’ latin motherfuckers would be there, so it’d be cool, good old friendly party with food and booze and dancing. Columbian style! Shit’s cool. Those motherfuckers know how to have fun.”

He’s wandering off into random tangents like he sometimes does and before his consciousness could drift too far away, you squirm in his arms and bring him back to the here and now.

“Umm, dancing? Are you sure it’d be a good idea to bring me there?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing sceptically. Gamzee looks at you like he doesn’t get it and you see the exact moment when he does. His eyes widen a bit before softening and he reaches up to ruffle your hair.

“Of course motherfucker!” he says reassuringly and you have no idea where he was coming from in thinking this is a good idea but his grin and the heavy ,solid weight of his hand on your head somehow bends you to his will, despite the ever-present buzz of admittedly cynical realism and self-deprecation bustling in your head.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if you’ll meet anyone else who can have this sort of effect on you.

“Besides, this chica, haven’t seen her in a long, loooong time but she’s a cool motherfucker. I want you to meet her. I plan to introduce her to my roommate and all my other bros anyway. ‘sides, I think you’ll like her.”

“Uhh…so…you’re roommate is going to be there too?”

You’d only met Gamzee’s roommate a handful of times and fact that he’s the type of person to not like anybody aside, the guy still kind of scares you. It also really doesn’t help that (and you don’t let gamzee know that you do) you know he doesn’t seem to be happy that Gamzee’s with you. Really, he’s got quite a voice, even when he’s yelling through a phone’s speaker, you can almost discern every word he’s saying. You’ve certainly heard enough from late night phonecalls to Gamzee while you pretended to still be asleep next to him to know that you’re not his roommate’s favorite person.

Gamzee pretends to be totally oblivious to his roommate’s opinion of you as usual and nods. “Yeah, so?”

“Okay,” you say it as casually as possible, resting your cheek against the warm skin on his chest so he couldn’t see your expression.

“I’ll literally just be sitting there the whole time while everyone’s having fun though.”

“Naww, you’ll be up and having fun too! I’ll make sure of it, if it’s the last thing I motherfucking do.”

Despite the reassuring tone in his voice and his comforting warmth all around you, the insecurity starts trickling into your mind. His roommate will be there, his friends will be there, what if-scratch that, they definitely won’t like you.

“I don’t know Gamzee…”

Hearing the indecision in your voice, Gamzee switches tactics. His arms rearrange themselves so he can squeeze you to him and he kind of curls around you, tucking your head under his chin and throwing a leg over your hip.

“Awww, c’mon Tavbro, would you really rob a brother of the chance to salsa with a precious motherfucker like you?”

With his new hold on you, your arm is kind of squished between the two of you, your palm flat against his collarbone. You drum your fingers sheepishly against his skin as you speak. “Uhh… Gamzee? I couldn’t not, even if I don’t want to.”

Gamzee doesn’t say anything for two seconds and you can almost hear him thinking of how he was going to render your disability inconsequential this time.

“Sure you can,” he says softly after a while and your heart speeds up in your chest.

When you first met him, you thought that Gamzee was oblivious to the hardships you have to face, being bound to a wheelchair because he literally treated you like you were honestly no different. He would suggest to do things that were quite frankly impossible for you and then look surprised afterward when you awkwardly turn down an invitation to go to the skatepark with some buddies because he realizes ‘Oh right, Tavros is a motherfucking amputee. The fuck is he gonna do there? Whoops.’

However, after you got to know him more, you realized. The sheepish grins he gave you every time you were out together and he climbs up a set of stairs without a ramp, the way he doesn’t even ask as he throws you over his shoulder, tuck your wheelchair under one arm and carries you up the stairs…he does understand and he accepts your limitations, it was just that he refuses to think of you any less because of them. Gamzee truly believes that being confined to a wheelchair shouldn’t stop you from living normally and when something is truly hard or even impossible for you…he’s right there, and he makes it possible.

Case in point; after his statement, you look up at him questioningly and before you can say anything, he says “Here, let me show you.” gets his phone out, turns the volume up as high as it can go and blasts “Everything I can’t have” from the Step Up 2 soundtrack. And then, he throws the covers off and ignores your protests as he scoops you up in his arms. It’s a futile struggle and you doubt, even if you still had your legs that you’d have been able to squirm free from the iron grasp his arm had around your waist. So you resign yourself to your Gamzee-enforced fate for the next few minutes and you set one hand against his shoulder and the other in his own as he moves around the room, singlehandedly salsa-ing for the two of you.

You’d bet everything you owned and then some that the two of you look beyond ridiculous butt naked, doing the salsa in the middle of the night but you still couldn’t help the hearty giggles of delight that make it out of your throat when Gamzee spins you around, does it again and ends up putting too much momentum in the action. The two of you collapse clumsily on the other bed and you laugh yourselves silly for an entire minute until Gamzee props himself up with both palms on either side of your head.

“So? What do you say? Personally, I think that was absolutely bitchtits as far as fun goes. And I’d really like to do it again.” He asks and you sigh heavily through you nose as you reach up to brush his hair back from his face, smearing ruined-beyond-immediate repair make up as you did so.

“Ok. Sure, I’ll go with you.”

He grins at you, delighted and you can honestly say that you don’t regret your decision at all when he leans down and kisses the breath out of you.

============================

Gamzee doesn’t bring it up again until the night before it was supposed to happen and when he does, you kind of go into an internal freak out. Which, perhaps isn’t internal at all because when Gamzee shows up in your dorm the following day, he takes one look at you, chuckles and kisses your forehead. “Relax bro, it’s okay, really.”

You just stare up at him fearfully and he laughs again. He ruffles your hair fondly. “You are one fidgety motherfucker, never knew another one to be digging up so much fuss where there’s none. I think one of the guys is getting his nice on and giving us a ri-”

Gamzee is cut off by his phone ringing and he looks at it with mild puzzlement when he fishes it out of his pocket. “Some unknown motherfucker’s calling me up.” He says before putting the phone to his ear and answering it.

“Hello?”

You hear a muffled, high pitched voice squeal something from the other end of the line and Gamzee’s eyebrows fly up to touch the edges of his beanie. “Well if it isn’t the cat-loving booze sister herself.” he says and you watch him converse with whoever the hell the “cat-loving booze sister” is for a few minutes before he hangs up and turns his attention back to you.

“Well, nevermind then, apparently the cause of the party is going to up and drive us there herself.”

“Umm, sure, okay then.” You say uncertainly, tugging at your scarf. Gamzee gives you an easy going smile, checks the time on his phone and puts it away again. “She says she’d be here in 10 minutes but that tipsy sister’s never been a motherfucker for being on time. So I’m gonna up and guesstimate she’ll be here in 30. What’cha want to do until then?”

You roll your eyes up to the ceiling as if it would give you an answer and you “uhhh…” for several seconds before turning your attention back to Gamzee. “talk? I guess?” You want to hit yourself for being so lame the second the words are out of your mouth but Gamzee just smiles at you, sets his guitar down and says “Sure motherfucker!”

He picks you up from your chair and settles himself on your bed. He leans back on your pillows and settles you on his lap and you’re so content to stay there and curl up against him you can die. You talk about anything and everything for the next while, he makes you laugh, he makes you blush and he keeps you hanging on to every single lazy word that makes it out of his painted mouth. It makes you wonder what you’d ever done, if in a past life or some crap, he was the one who was madly…attached to you and you failed to reciprocate the feeling. So what you feel now is some sort of payback for not being able to return it then. If it is then…you don’t care. Nothing you can do about it anyway. Karma is one persistent b and it got you good.

Your casual conversations eventually dissolve into a fairly enthusiastic make out session that would’ve progressed unto much more, well, enthusiastic things if you didn’t have the mind to pull back and remember that someone is supposed to pick you up and drive you to a party soon.

“Uhh, I think it’s been 30 minutes,” you half-gasp half murmur as you wrench your mouth away from Gamzee’s. It just follows yours and you make a sound of protest but kiss back anyway when he attempts to keep your lips non-verbal.

“Ok, seriously, we don’t want to ditch your friend.” You say, pulling back another time with a small smile on your face. Gamzee whines but when you dodge another attempt at a kiss, he sighs and gives up.

You right yourselves as much as you can, wiping off makeup that shouldn’t be there, straightening ruffled clothes and hair and you make a point of not attaching yourselves by the lip as you make your way down to the front of the dorms. Or at least you try, Gamzee still manages to sneak in a few kisses in the elevator but after that (and many a great “Gamzee seriously stop, you’re getting makeup all over me again! *giggle*” from you) he decides that you’ve filled your quota of touchy-feely soppy times for today and dutifully keeps his mouth away from you.

When you make outside the front doors, the first thing that grabs your attention is a huge, dark pink jeep wrangler. It’s parked precariously close to the building and it’s doing quite a job of attracting attention. A blonde girl who looked to be in her mid 20’s was leaning against it, checking something on her iPhone. In your peripheral vision, you see Gamzee’s arm rise up to his mouth and you look up at him when he whistles sharply.

The girl leaning against the jeep looks up and your attention flits over to her the same time hers falls on Gamzee. Mascara’d eyes partially obscured by platinum bangs widen and then she was running toward you, stumbling a little bit because of the strappy heels she’s wearing. She practically throws herself at Gamzee who readily catches her. She’s so tiny compared to him (like most people) that Gamzee has to lift her off her feet so he won’t have to bend down so much in order to hug her back.

“Oh my gooood. My favourite fucking lunatic! How the hell are you?!” the girl yelps into Gamzee’s shoulder, kicking her feet like an over-excited child.

“I’m doin good. How bout you feisty Barbie?” Gamzee asks, smiling as he slowly sets her back on the ground. The girl steps back from him with a slight bounce, the fluttery skirt of her coral pink party dress rippling a bit from the movement. She tugs at the leather cropped jacket she has on and tucks some of her hair behind her ear, flashing a smile up at Gamzee as she does so.

“Same old, same old you know. Can’t complain I guess.” She says and that‘s when she notices you.

She reacts like she’s seen nyan cat or something, fists going up to her cheeks and a small gasp of delight escaping her mouth.

“and what have we here?” she asks, eyeing you like you’re a puppy in a pet shop window. She points at you and looks back at Gamzee. “This the cutie you managed to nab you bastard?” she asks. Gamzee just grins at her and she turns back to you with a huge grin.

“You’re one lucky son of a bitch then because damn, your boy is fine.” She says, putting her hands on her hips and waggling her eyebrows at you appreciatively. You laugh and blush, reaching up to rub at your neck sheepishly.

“Uhh, thanks.”

The girl grins at you. “The name’s Roxy hon” she says, extending her hand for you to shake. “Part time programmer, full time femme fatale vixen of awesomeness.”

“Tavros Nitram umm…college student.” You reply, reaching up to shake her hand.

“Oh god, you are so cuuuute. If you don’t mind me asking, the fuck are you doing with this tool over here?” Roxy asks, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at Gamzee whose simple response at her teasing is the laziest frown ever.

“Uhh, because, as you put it, he’s a lucky son of a bitch?”

Your weak crack at humor earns you a blink and an uproariously hearty laugh from Roxy and you smile at Gamzee when you notice him beaming down at you with something akin to delighted approval.

“Sweet Jegus, I love you already. Come you adorable little munchkin, let mama Roxy fill thee up with some good ol’ spirits and then whisk thee away to party thy fauxhawk-ed little head off.” she says reaching down for your hand. You hesitantly put it in hers and before you know it, you’re getting into her massive wrangler and its too late to save yourself from any and all misfortune this evening can bring you.

Roxy actually did have “spirits” in the car and attempt to fill you up with it she sure does. You only politely sip down some rum and coke though and warily eye the impressive plethora of hard liquor Roxy has. It makes you a bit wary but only a bit because really you shouldn’t have expected anything less from a friend of Gamzee’s. The two of them chat up a storm whilst not withholding any alcohol from themselves at all. You’re thankful that the trip you have to make is apparently short because you let a lot of things slide but when booze and driving both factor into the equation you’re a little more likely to actually do something.

Also, between the bottle and a half of bananatinis that Roxy drinks like water and the unknown thing that you can smell from where you sat that she sipped delicately at from a small silver flask, she’s barely affected. At all. It’s a safe bet to say that her tolerance is right up there with toughened war veterans. So you probably have nothing to worry about. Probably.

You end up in someone’s backyard. It isn’t a terribly big one and it seems even smaller from the amount of people already there. Plastic tables are set up in a clustered square around a blank space in the middle where people were already up and dancing to some music. Someone also took the time to wrap the wire fences boxing in the place with blue Christmas lights and hang them on two parallel rows of laundry lines that stand on opposite ends of the backyard.

You don’t know what you were expecting exactly, way more smoke and alcohol maybe. But though there is that too, the atmosphere here is unexpectedly welcoming and warm.

For the better part of the night, you’re dragged along as Roxy gets passed from person to person and you go through so many replays of “Oh Gamzee is that your boyfriend?” so many times that you wish you had an inbuilt recorder in you so you won’t have to repeat yourself every darn time. It’s ok though, out of the maybe, well, all of Ganzee’s friends you expected to look at you quizzically and ask Gamzee what the hell he was doing dating a loser like you, there were only 2 who actually did. Roxy eventually leaves your side to go socialize, dance and drink but Gamzee stays put, turning down offer after offer of a dance, a jam or a smoke to stay by your side.

“It’s okay,” you tell him after you’ve nibbled at some chips and sipped at some beer. “You can leave and go hang out with some people without me if you want.”

Gamzee looks at you and there`s nothing in expression that even hinted at not being sincere about what comes out of his mouth next. “Don’t want to. I like this here company just fine.” He says, taking a sip from the beer bottle he was holding and draping an arm over the back of your chair.

A grin slowly forms on your face and you open your mouth to say something but before you could, another voice cuts you off.

“Hey. Fuckass,”

The two of you look up and you feel anxiousness lightly prod at your insides when you see Gamzee’s room mate standing there holding a red plastic cup in one hand and glaring dourly at Gamzee.

“Oh, well look who it is,” Gamzee says with a smile.

His room mate’s gaze flicks over to you and you resist the urge to shrink away. You force a small polite smile on your face. “Hi,” you greet him.

The corner of his mouth twitches ever so slightly and he nods at you before turning his cherry red eyes back to Gamzee.

“I know you’re a grade A A-hole but you could at least have the decency to tell me if you’re going to be home or not before I buy you food you ungrateful douche.” He barks out and Gamzee shrugs one shoulder, smiling up at him sheepishly. “Sorry bro. I was just making sure that this one here,” he says gesturing to you. Oh hell, Gamzee no. You silently will him not to bring you into this but too late, he already has and his room mate is looking at you again.

“-wouldn’t throw some shut-eye out the window again for a stupid paper.”

“I-It’s not stu-”

“Tavros shh, I’m trying to make excuses here.”

Something shifts ever so subtly in his room mate’s expression and you don’t like it at all. It doesn’t make you angry or anything remotely like that, if anything it just makes you…uneasy, in a slightly guilty way.

“Fuck, whatever just don’t do it again. That said, are you going to be home tonight?”

You kind of want to hit Gamzee for blatantly turning his gaze to you like you have the answer.

“Uhh-” you begin but before you can get a word out, his room mate scowls, rolls his eyes and says “Oh whatever, if you decide to for some reason, I’m locking you out.” And with that, he marches off and you’re left to sit there, frowning in distress at his back. Something pokes you in the cheek and you look over to see Gamzee staring at you inquisitively. “What’s with that face? Are them good old worry monsters getting their bother jam on in your brain bro?”

“Uhh…your uh…your room mate doesn’t like me very much does he?” you ask and Gamzee just shrugs. “Naww bro, he doesn’t like anybody. Or anything at all really.”

“Yeah but, I think he doesn’t like me even more.”

“and you think that why?”

All of a sudden, you wonder if you really shouldn’t have said anything at all. You look down at your hands, dutifully avoiding Gamzee’s eyes as you spoke. “Well, I kind of get the feeling that uhh…that he feels like I’m stealing you from him or something.”

Gamzee is silent for a beat and then there’s a rough palm gently turning your head to look up at him.

“He’s my best bro but he doesn’t get to pick who I stick with, especially if I really like the motherfucker a lot.” he says, lightly brushing his thumb across your bottom lip. Between his words and the way he’s looking at you, you kind of forget how to breathe normally for a second.

“Hey hey!”

You’re interrupted for the second time in less than 3 minutes, this time by Roxy. She swats at Gamzee’s shoulder and puts her hands on her hips when he looks up at her. “You’re one of the lucky jerks I drove all the way down here to see, you owe me a dance.” She says, holding her hand out for Gamzee tot take. He chuckles briefly and takes her hand as he stands. “Alright then motherfucker, as you wish.” he says. He looks back at you and you make a “go on, shoo” gesture at him.

You watch for the next 10 minutes maybe as Roxy and Gamzee blend in with the crowd on the dance floor, hands linked as they twirl and sway. Eventually they let go of each other and switch partners within the course of the next three songs before getting passed to each other again and laughing when they come face to face. Watching Gamzee have fun brings a smile to your face and for a moment you forget every little troubling thing roiling about in your mind. He twirls and dips Roxy and after that, promptly abandons her to run over to you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, wondering what he wants and blink stupidly in surprise when he holds a hand out to you. “You owe me a dance too bro,” he says and you shake your head, sputtering out the beginnings of embarrassed nonsense. Natrually, Gamzee gives nary a fuck and grabs you out of your chair, placing you on your semi-permanent perch on his shoulder as he makes his way to the dance floor.

Someone that sounds suspiciously like Roxy shouts and cheers when Gamzee carries you out and several people echo the sound. You blush quite splendidly but obediently set your hands where they should be anyway when Gamzee performs a repeat of what happened in your room a few nights ago.

“Oh gosh, it’s embarrassing with people watching.” You mumble at him and you’re surprised he hears you over the music and the combined sound of laughing and talking.

Gamzee nuzzles against your cheek and kisses the corner of your mouth and somehow, that makes it all better, no matter how stupid that sounds.

You spend a long time, cradled against Gamzee on the dance floor and by the end of it, you’re flushed and smiling and so was he. The party goes on for an indefinite while and before you know it, Gamzee is driving you back in Roxy’s car while Roxy sleeps in the back seat, passed out from the combination of dancing and drinking. He drops her off at the hotel she’s staying at, drops you off back in your dorm room and stays with you a bit before going out to drop Roxy’s jeep off where it belongs.

“You can just stay here you know, and give the car back to her tomorrow.” You say as he helps you out of your chair and pulls you into his lap. Gamzee scoots back further into your bed and shrugs. “I was actually planning to go spend the night with my room mate.”

“Oh.” The word comes out of your mouth in a way that you’re absolutely sure you don’t intend and you try to make up for it by trying really hard to sound casual with your next words. “Okay then, that’s fine. You are his room mate after all.” You throw in a small laugh for good measure but to your disappointment, Gamzee sees right through you anyway.

He looks at you for 2 seconds, face carefully neutral and then he leans over and nuzzles against your cheek.

“Seems to me like my room mate isn’t the only one up and not liking someone I like.”

“What? No! it’s not like that at all, really it’s. Uhh, it’s fine, I have no problem with him he just intimidates me a little that’s all.”

“Why? Did he say something bad to you?”

“Well, no…”

Fuck, how can you get out of this conversation really fast?

“Then why?”

All of a sudden every unwanted doubt, every unsolicited thought about every story you’ve heard from Gamzee about him and his room mate assaults your brain and you force something out before you can say anything stupid. “Well, look at him, he’s not exactly made of sunshine and flowers.”

Gamzee laughs and you breathe an inner sigh of relief, thankful that you’ve deterred him for the moment.

“No, he’s really not.” Gamzee says, pulling back a little so he can look at you. When he does, a comfortable silence descends on you two and he smiles softly, arms winding around your waist. You curl one of your own around his shoulders and reach out with the other to thread your fingers through his hair.

Your eyes roam his face, drinking it in eagerly. He removed his make up shortly after you made it back to your dorm, after you commented on how smeared and ruined it was from all the dancing he did and you’re grateful that he listened to you. It doesn’t matter what he says, you don’t care about the scars, his face is beautiful and you’d trade anything just to be able to see it more often.

“Are you leaving soon?” you murmur softly and Gamzee hums.

“Do you want me to stay for a bit longer?” he asks.

You offer him s half smile. “If you did I might not let you go.”

Gamzee’s eyelids lower and you meet the tiny curve of his smile with your lips when he leans forward.

“Mmm, that sounds really motherfucking tempting.”

You chuckle and kiss him again. “Just go, don’t want your room mate to lock you out. I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

Gamzee steals a longer kiss that you end up having to break before he ends up actually having to stay for the night and he nuzzles against your neck when you laughingly push him away. You lie on your bed and you watch him go. He hesitates at the door.

“Night Tavros.” he says.

“Goodnight Gamzee…be safe.”

He smiles at you and leaves and when the door closes behind him, you regret just a little bit. Just a little, substituting “be safe” for what you really wanted to say.

Doesn’t matter you suppose as you slowly lie on your side and curl up on your bed. He’s gone now and as always, you’re here, not even able to get up and go after him.

=======================================

**Author's Note:**

> think I kind of shot accuracy in the face somehow. Iunno. but whatever XD also, I just really think Roxy would have a Jeep, I don’t. know. why.
> 
> I don’t know if anyone can see how the fic relates to the song but in case I failed spectacularly at trying to show it, I interpret 4chords Gamzee as a very Ramona Flowers-esque character. Very unpredictable and fickle and I was vaguely alluding to Tavros being somewhat aware that its in his nature to abandon people. I know that in canon he doesn’t know that Gamzee sleeps around but I’ve never been a fan of sugarpuff, oblivsious, uhh, ummm uhhh, what do I do? Tavros. I like to think that he’s intuitive no matter what incarnation of his character we’re dealing with. anyway, I’m getting off topic, basically, I was trying to convey how Tavros feels like a rift is about to happen between him and Gamzee because as mentioned, he has his suspicions about Gamzee’s true nature. He’s afraid, so afraid and he wants desperately to pull him close and keep him there but realizes that he can’t


End file.
